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You can be happy without being happy.

I read all those great personal development books growing up. All those brilliant books written by Wayne Dyer,  Shakti Gawain, Louise Hay. They had so much to say and so much to teach me. One of the overlying messages was about being happy, constantly striving to be happy.

I got the idea in my head that if I wasn’t happy that something had to be wrong with me and no matter how hard I tried to be happy in every single moment – it just didn’t work. I found it impossible. And then I would be even more unhappy because I just couldn’t make it work. Frankly- I think some of the messages in these books are dangerous but that’s another subject for another day.

As I’ve grown and learned more about myself and life, in general, I’ve realised that happiness is something that encompasses all of it – it encompasses sadness, anger, fear, joy, peace, bliss, rage. These emotions teach us, they warn us, they let us express ourselves. We don’t have to be “happy” all the time. We really don’t.

Last week my husband said to me “you are a happy soul aren’t you?”. I said no I wasn’t. I’m a human being. I’m me. I don’t want the pressure of being known as a happy soul. The weight of that label is just too much.

We can’t always be happy. Nor do I think we should be. Honour yourself. Listen to yourself. Be a good friend to yourself. When you do have those moments of joy, grab them and hold on tight and enjoy the hell out of them for as long as they last. You don’t know when the next one will be coming so just embrace it!

Keep it real.

You don't have to be happy to be happy. Jodechi Morton CBT and Life Coaching