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How to create the life you want

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Ringing in a new year is a fantastic time to start fresh and envisage changes for your life. But new years resolutions come and go, most often forgotten by the time the weather begins to warm. If you are seeking real change in your life, here are some tips to help you make the necessary shifts in your life because you most certainly have the capacity and power to create the life you want to live.

Setting Goals

Seemingly trivial at times, setting and writing down goals can actually help you reap rewards. Harvard Business School conducted a study about goal setting with their alum. The 3% of people they found who were actively writing down their goals were earning an average of 10x as much as the other 97% of participants! [1] This isn’t to say that goal setting is a magic fix, but it will certainly guide you down your path with a steadier hand. Going through the intentional process of setting and writing down goals will raise your self-esteem and motivation, and will put you in the mindset of achieving tangible success.

Self-acceptance

Often when goals or new years resolutions are set, it’s easy to fall into the trappings of self-criticism when you fall short. Frustration can quickly take over, and suddenly you are in the clutches of your negative thoughts. This is when self-acceptance is most important. People have on average 70,000 thoughts per day, or what could be seen as 70,000 opportunities a day to practice being kind to yourself.

Focusing on self-acceptance in actuality focuses attention on your inherent power and the idea that you, truly, can be in control of your actions and choices. Setbacks in resolutions can be understood as a process of learning and growing into your real, authentic self, rather than seen as failures. Self-acceptance, in short, is the process of giving yourself full permission to be a different, transformed, and a better person as you move forward with your new year and new resolutions. It allows you to see beyond the negative stories your mind may sometimes spin and encourages recognition of the incredible journey that you have taken to become you; and the incredible journey that waits ahead for you in the new year.

Celebrate!

Achieving a big goal means taking lots of little steps to get there – and each small success should be celebrated! Ignoring the small victories will build resolutions into a mountain so tall it may seem too overwhelming to climb. But celebrating each step forward brings joy into the process of change, defeats feelings of inadequacy, and maintains your inspiration to work towards your new years resolution. Not only does finding joy in the incremental steps forward make your journey enjoyable and fun, but a positive mindset can even influence overall body health. [2] Appreciation for these small victories will attune your mindset towards the positive and diminish the impact the negative can have, making the path to your resolutions less daunting.

Professional Support

One of the most beneficial things to prompt positive growth and change is to find professional help with a qualified coach or therapist. Therapy can give you the tools to handle challenges in a healthy way that keeps you motivated to place one foot in front of the other. It can help you untangle relationships, emotion, and cognition to offer insight into how these different aspects are affecting your life, and what you can do to shift them.

Some people correlate trauma with a need for professional support, but in reality, each and every one of us can benefit from talking with an experienced and licensed expert. You aren’t in this journey alone, and therapy or coaching can give you the strength of support in overcoming challenges and holding yourself accountable. Success is possible when professional support is embraced to better yourself and your life.

Jodechi Morton CBT and Life Coaching