Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Selfish or selfless. How about somewhere in between?

I hear this so often. I don't want to be selfish or I don't want people to think I'm selfish. Well, why not? And is it even about that?

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Selfish or selfless

I hear this so often. I don't want to be selfish or I don't want people to think I'm selfish. Well, why not? And is it even about that?

I have often had the conversation with clients about putting themselves first and how important it is to do this. And most of the time the reaction is that they don't want to be selfish. Why does the one thing have to mean the other thing? Putting yourself first sometimes, making sure that you are strong and healthy inside yourself, that is not selfish.In the 15 years of doing this work, I have actually met very few people that were selfish. I have met many more that were selfless and let me tell you- that's an unhealthy place to be. These people say yes to everyone and anything- all the time.

Let's throw out this word selfish or at least use it a lot less often. There are some people that truly are selfish- they are so good at it they have made it in to an art form. But this is rare.

Most people that I know are somewhere in between and that is a good place to be. But do put yourself first sometimes in a healthy realistic way. If you don't, who else will?